Solving the Obesity Problem
Pauly spends a lot of time swimming around in his pond, pondering the problems of the world. Being a particularly perspicacious political platypus, he is a problem-solver par excellence. Pauly’s latest offering is one of his very best. Our platypus proposes a solution to the obesity problem in America: legalizing pot!
It turns out that fatty foods stimulate the same chemical releases in the brain as marijuana, which is why it’s so hard for you to eat just one potato chip. So, Pauly argues, it follows that if pot is legal, everybody will forgo the fatty faux-chemicals and go straight for the real thing (which is non-fattening.) If legal pot is properly taxed, it could solve the deficit, obesity and skyrocketing health care costs, all in one toke… er, stroke.
Pauly accepts your grateful accolades with his usual grace and humility. “Aw shucks, t’aint nuthin’,” he murmurs shyly, twirling a webbed toe in the mud.