Pauly spends a lot of time swim­ming around in his pond, pon­der­ing the prob­lems of the world. Being a par­tic­u­larly per­spi­ca­cious polit­i­cal platy­pus, he is a problem-​​solver par excel­lence. Pauly’s lat­est offer­ing is one of his very best. Our platy­pus pro­poses a solu­tion to the obe­sity prob­lem in Amer­ica: legal­iz­ing pot!

It turns out that fatty foods stim­u­late the same chem­i­cal releases in the brain as mar­i­juana, which is why it’s so hard for you to eat just one potato chip. So, Pauly argues, it fol­lows that if pot is legal, every­body will forgo the fatty faux-​​chemicals and go straight for the real thing (which is non-​​fattening.) If legal pot is prop­erly taxed, it could solve the deficit, obe­sity and sky­rock­et­ing health care costs, all in one toke… er, stroke.

Pauly accepts your grate­ful acco­lades with his usual grace and humil­ity. “Aw shucks, t’aint nuthin’,” he mur­murs shyly, twirling a webbed toe in the mud.